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Monthly Archives: April 2012

Let me tell you about my baby brother, Robert. He’s the biggest kid you’ll ever meet. He’s ten years old. He’s been ten years old for twenty years now (well, 19, but it’ll be twenty in three months time). This is great news for my family, because for the longest time, we’re afraid he’d be three.

This boy is smart. How smart? You may not have met him yet, but he already knows how to manipulate you. He knows how you see him, he just can’t do anything about that. What he will do is convince you to do things for him because he’ll act like he can’t. He can, he’s just knows it’s better to have someone else do it. It’s easier that way. He can quote the movie Spaceballs to you, front to back. From what I remember, my parents took that movie away from him when he was 15 because he could quote it front to back. Say Frau Blucher to him. I’ll bet he whinnies.

He’s autistic. I’m not talking, high functioning, can do well in society, Aspergers autism. Real deal, barely verbal until he was 10, trouble communicating to the point of violent frustrating autistic. I didn’t get it when I was younger. He was different, but that’s all I knew. Looking back at it, I was jealous of him. Knowing that my parents loved us all but he required the most attention. Maybe that’s why I acted out and became a rebel.

Yeah, right. Some rebellion. Oh yeah, Dad! Make me wear shirts with collars to school?? Well I’m packin’ a plain purple t-shirt and changing on the way there! What’s that Mom? I have to have my homework done before I can play Nintendo? Well I’m gonna play Nintendo right up until you get home, turn it off, run to my room and look like I was working really hard. Yeah! Take that!

Then you grow up, you see that what was done was the best way. And then you wonder, this guy has had a fairly good life for someone in his position. My parents worked hard for all of us, but especially this guy. I don’t want him to lose that. So, then you start to fret. You fret because you know that some day, you’re going to be the dad. Someday, he’ll be burning off your cell phone minutes because he needs you to know what the Pokemon trainers are doing. Someday…

So you get ready for that day. Hopefully no time soon, but fortune favors the prepared and the fools. I’m going to be the most prepared fool in the world.

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